Black Girl Skin Wars

 Black Girl Skin Wars

I’m having a lightskinned/darkskinned black girl issue over here, well at my girls had issues at school that some how came home with them.

I come from a family like many other black familes that are full of every color brown. Meleninated skim tones that range from caramel with hazel eyes to chocolate with brown eyes from skinny to plus size over here. Then throw in being a foster parent who has cared for all races and cultures, I had some stressful days with girls over the years. As a girl myself I could relate to all the changes, thoughts of not being all the not enough’s that one could think of.

I tried my best to let them know that All Black Girls Rock, but I guess I can’t control how their friends are. Some thing about girls outside of your family circle that can drive a fragile girl cra cra.

Over the years I had my share of the bad and so-called beautiful, but I had more true beauties that saw my beauty to and they were my closet girl friends. I welcomed my girls to observe me, my women family and friends during our girl sessions, so I thought they would be able to identify a true friend, a girl who is worthy of your time. Boys and men aren’t the only ones you need to guard your heart from.

When problems arose in the home, I would always ask them to think about how my sister and I treated one another. This time I decided to remind them about my Krewe, my sister friends, how she they are the coolest, sweetest and most down to earth assortment of colors of browns. We never looked at the other as light-skinned or dark-skinned, but saw our individual beauty. Don’t get me wrong, life has not always been like that with girls. OMG, I know how cruel they can be. Growing up darkskinned with Nappy Hair in the South was hard, but it got better. I’m now beautiful to those chics..

On the other hand I reminded them of my beautiful, lightskinned,long black silky hair,nice shaped with a pancake stomach and loving black girl friend. I mentioned to them how she is raising her Mini Twin with the same character and spirit that she has, she’s just an awesome spirit, beauty standards do not define her. Just as she gets compliments, she easily gives them.

Then I pulled out my one of my birthday pictures with me and other team light skinned lol. I told them how beautiful and real she is. When I think of a real woman who is close as a sister and shines bright like a diamond, I think of her.

I noticed neither story moved them so I brought it closer to home and I told them about my relationship with my first best friend, my cousin. She was a caramel skin chic with a head full of thick long hair. Our differences never an issue between us and we grew up like carrots and peas. My cousin was always and still is passionate, raw and borderline hard especially in the 90’s.

To me growing up in New Orleans back in the day when we had our color wars, my cousin divided that shit and tried her best to block the hurtful words spoken against my beautiful dark brown sugar skin. When her lil bougie light-skinned friend turned their nose at me she dropped them, ended their friendships. I remember when she was crowned queen in Jr High, she included me the experience and let me where her crown, so I can feel as she did.

I focused on my Lightskinned Girls, because that’s the issue at hand for some reason and it made me wonder. Could it be that even back in the day day these light skinned girls did not feel pretty themselves and by feeling like that they dumped that ish on Team Dark Skinned?

I wanted my girls to know who made my struggle with my beautiful Chocolate skin just about nonexistence, but if I was there age it would be them. Here the two of them stand in front of me with their hazel eyes, curly good hair and fair skin, mad as hell, because some girl called them ugly. I really wanted to laugh, but not at them, but myself for all those years of thinking I needed to be lighter in order to be beautiful.

I’m thankful that I had some good girls who turned into women in my life who saw past what society defined as beauiful as well as who to have in your circle.

These women are just a few that define that beauty is not just about color, but how beautiful one is on the inside.

Being Chocolate, Thick and Beautiful I have been blessed to have these girls in my life, especially now that I can help prevent, well cease any insecurities.

On a funnier note I told then that just about all the women I know who are light skinned have darkSkinned husbands. The same goes for me, I was married to a lightskinned gold teeth southern boy lol.. I guess opposite do attract, but I have a thang for big fine darkskinned men..

If that didn’t show them we all are beautiful and see beauty within each other, then they will be lost forever..

Nola Chic

Native of New Orleans, who endured 20yrs cruel Minnesota Cold, I decided at 42yrs old it was time to pack up my then 6yr old and come back to my roots. I am all things that would challenge the belief of growing up in New Orleans. I was a 16yr old teen mother of a preterm 2lb baby girl born with a disability. With the help of my mother who had her own struggles. We survived the obstacles laid before us. I'm the proud mother of three children with two failed adoptions, as well as a grandmother of three, two grandsons and a granddaughter. I survived two abusive marriages. I successfully ran a soulfood restaurant and catering company in Minnesota for 12 years. I started creating custom cakes after the murder of my beloved cousin Melvin Paul.  He survived Katrina only to go to Minneapolis six months later to be murdered over a parking spot dispute.  I put my all into my cake business over the years as House of Cakes was started right out of my house in honor of him. I thought by having the big house on the hill, a husband, having a family, foster/adoptive mother at that, being involved in all things that matter, plus having the funds to match would cure me in a sense; but most of it poisoned my heart and soul. I had a broken heart and I felt deep down the only way to repair it was to get back to my roots, my soul, my home,  myself, my New Orleans. I'm here and I'm loving it. Even being in the so called Blighted Area of New Orleans and not having all the financial and material security, I'm happy. I am determined that She, yes New Orleans is a woman is just like me; together we will overcome and will rise from all that tried to kill our spirit. Nothing like starting from the bottom and making your way back up! I'm down in the boot, but I know I have a nice floppy hat awaiting my destiny...

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