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Memoir,  Relationships,  Uncategorized

Nola Chic Late-night thoughts: Social Media makes it too easy to find out if your Man/Woman is cheating…back in the day it took foot work.

Do y’all remember when it was work trying find out if ya man/woman was cheating on you?? The Juice had to walk in the rain, stalking his woman.

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Shirley had to go through the white pages to call Barbara on a rotary phone.

It was hard, stressful and time consuming trying to get past the lies of why your Man/Woman coming home late..

Finding a cheater is so simple now all you have to do is have a phone and an app. It’s that simple.

Like right now, if I had a man and he wasn’t home at 2am, not answering his phone, his Mama or children don’t know where he his, you havent’t spoke to him since his lunch break at noon. Your mind flashes back to how one of your friends said, he was all in this white chic face. This white chic, is just Becky with the good hair, Your man coaches her teen son and they live 123 Your Man Over Here St in the East. You know this , cuz yall dropped the lil boy off after practice one day, the Chic waved and yall kept it, pushing, but you did notice ya Man/Woman was acting a lil weird after you told him you coming along so you could go to the store. Does he not realize he had your car all day and you needed some things from the store, just like now. He never got his license together since that 3rd DWI nor get his truck out the impound, because he had $6k worth of tickets and fines.

You call him a few more times, you pray to God that he not doing what he did to you, before and you try to watch a lil TV, then you call a long time good friend, you know the one you stop seeing when that fool begged your foolish axx to take him back. He’s happy to hear from you, telling you what you already know, ask you why you took him back, stating y’all had a good lil thing going. You wanted your own man, well a man that you thought was yours, friends with benefits made you feel like he was using you for sex. He said, it was companionship, but I didn’t see it like that, because how many friends can we have, but hey there’s no rules for it. He ends the call with enouraging words, telling You that you deserve better and remember he can help you relieve some of that stress. Now, he shouldn’t have went there and that’s the very reason you had to take your Ex back after he cheated… Friends with benefits just seems like sex with an option not to kiss, cuddle, go on dates and the list goes on. Like he told you he’s there for stress release, not a shoulder to cry on.

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The talk has you confused, you really hoping he walks through the door, slightly drunk with a crazy story, bout issues at his friends house and how his friend and woman was fighting and he had to wait for her to unblock the car. Yall, laugh and talk about how yall nothing like them, followed by hot passionate love making.

You snap out thar fantasy after the 100th phone call that went to voice mail. You thought things over and called his phone one more time making it 101 times, You know this, because the call log and mid-thought as you looked for your keys, you realize he has your car. Followed by your 2 and 7 yr old children who are sound asleep.

You wonder, who can you call for a ride?? No one, no one needs to know this is happening again, not at this moment, you tell yourself. You don’t want to call Your sister or best friend at 3am now to tell them, your Man is not home. That’s onething you didn’t feel like dealing with. They would have things to say, that You already know. You already feel bad, no need to bring yourself even lower.

You change into sweats, ponytail, headscarf, rollers, standing on the porch sucking in the fresh air as if it needed to put some in reserve, because You know ish gonna get ugly. You decided that ya gonna Ride and Ride up on him and that girl, even if means the catching the bus, because a cab might be expensive and he took his credit card with him to the club. You only have $100 in your account and who knows how much a cab will be, but you have to know no matter the price.

You feel all antsy like you can jump out your body, so you decide Your peace of mind matters the most at the time. You contemplate if it’s close enough to walk, walking may do two things, #1 give him time to call you to tell you he is dead somewhere and #2 give you time to figure out how not to go to jail. #2 was important, because You will be on her property and would be within her rights to have me arrested for trust passing and that couldn’t happen, because you left the kids at home.

But you tell yourself it’s 3am, you have to get your 7yr old ready for school and out to the school bus by 7:10am, so you gotta get there like now, catching a cab is the only option. You put your 7yr in your bed with your 2yr old placing pillows on the opposite side. You leave the tv on the cartoons and a few lights on, leaving the kids in the house alone, because you have to go see if your woman’s intuition is one point. Ya tell yourself your children will be ok and you won’t be gone over a hour. If you don’t go to see if he is there You may pull all your hair out and you make your way out the house as you order your dog to go lay in the room with the kids.

You tell the cab driver the drive might be a roundtrip fare and you have an additional stop. Your heart wants you to believe he is still at the bar. So you tell the can diver you need to make a stop at the bar and circle the lot as you look for Your car. The cab driver attempts to ask questions jokingly, but I wouldn’t bite his line. It’s not like he knows and why he really need to know bothers You. As you scan the parking lot, a glimpse of hope enters your heart, you think you see your car on the far end of the lot. Yass, he is here and trying to sober up, because he knew the risk of drinking and driving after all the tickets. Giving him the benefit of the doubt of having too many drinks and his phone may be dead was being etched across my heart as we drove to the end of the lot…

Continued on part #2

Native of New Orleans, who endured 20yrs cruel Minnesota Cold, I decided at 42yrs old it was time to pack up my then 6yr old and come back to my roots. I am all things that would challenge the belief of growing up in New Orleans. I was a 16yr old teen mother of a preterm 2lb baby girl born with a disability. With the help of my mother who had her own struggles. We survived the obstacles laid before us. I'm the proud mother of three children with two failed adoptions, as well as a grandmother of three, two grandsons and a granddaughter. I survived two abusive marriages. I successfully ran a soulfood restaurant and catering company in Minnesota for 12 years. I started creating custom cakes after the murder of my beloved cousin Melvin Paul.  He survived Katrina only to go to Minneapolis six months later to be murdered over a parking spot dispute.  I put my all into my cake business over the years as House of Cakes was started right out of my house in honor of him. I thought by having the big house on the hill, a husband, having a family, foster/adoptive mother at that, being involved in all things that matter, plus having the funds to match would cure me in a sense; but most of it poisoned my heart and soul. I had a broken heart and I felt deep down the only way to repair it was to get back to my roots, my soul, my home,  myself, my New Orleans. I'm here and I'm loving it. Even being in the so called Blighted Area of New Orleans and not having all the financial and material security, I'm happy. I am determined that She, yes New Orleans is a woman is just like me; together we will overcome and will rise from all that tried to kill our spirit. Nothing like starting from the bottom and making your way back up! I'm down in the boot, but I know I have a nice floppy hat awaiting my destiny...

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