I posted and deleted this photo late Friday night. In my head, it represented me being in my feelings about having a “summer” cold and how it wreaked havoc on my calendar of events. It’s me giving the week a slight side-eye because every plan/event had to be canceled, rescheduled or just missed. But more on the side of truth, it’s about being uncomfortable in my skin for a small moment in time. I deleted this photo because of a flaw that most couldn’t identify. A flaw that made me feel very self-conscious. Every time I looked at the photo I became uncomfortable in my skin. Now, for me, that’s a No-No! I’m like the poster child for not being embarrassed. My colorful upbringing, being diagnosed with alopecia, rockin’ my patches “bald spots” like an art form… I am immune to it, I don’t get embarrassed. So I thought! However, every time I saw the photo the hairs on my skin would stand up. All because I could see my facial hairs and that was like an echoing NOOOOO! (Don’t Do It!) That’s not cute or lady-like. So, about 15 minutes after posting it with 2 likes around 12:12 a.m. I hit that DELETE button. Then, I took a deep breath of relief. (Inhale! Exhale!)
So, why am I posting about it now? Well, that decision has bothered me all weekend. It was the white elephant in the middle of the room. Reminding me of my teen and early adult years, sitting in silence about what I was going through and the things that bothered me. The effects of my silence are still being felt in my life to this day. So, a couple of years ago, I made a pact with myself, to talk openly about those things that made me feel super uncomfortable. This is me taking steps to keep that promise. In addition, I realized there are people sitting in silence, alone, suffering, embarrassed, fearing judgment, thinking what’s bothering them is stupid, trivial or that they’re the only one. You know, some of those things which seem “LITTLE” but interrupt your greatness.
Well, that was me, Friday night and some of Saturday but NOT today. I decided to talk about my journey… I’ve lost the hair on my head, now I’m sprouting chin hairs… seriously? I don’t know how many women deal with this or are willing to talk openly about it but I am. In about 14 days I will have laser hair removal. One of the requirements was I could not thread, wax, tweeze or pluck the hairs in my face. However, I don’t feel as uncomfortable as I did yesterday about being in public with EXPOSED facial hairs. Lol! Although I can still hear in the back of my mind the comment “that’s not ladylike.”
Written by guest blogger Glenis Eugene, owner of Bald Headed Girls in New Orleans