Remembering my BabyGirl….

Today in 1990 I gave birth to a BabyGirl at Charity Hospital in New Orleans, whom I named Mya Antoinette. She was 1lb 14oz and she would fight for 39 days of her life, dying the day before my 1st daughter’s bday on Sept 19th. During her short life she defied the odds by being the 1st smallest premie to breathe on her own, which allowed me to hold her without tubes. She died bcuz her small under developed body wasn’t ready for formula & she developed intestinal failure.

I have gone through life finding comfort in being Auntie Dee to other babies, was blessed with Niyah 20 years later, but I still have a hole in my heart for my babygirl. I carry a guilt for being a fast teen as well. I had my first daughter at 16, she was a premie as well with major health issues, but I managed to get pregnant months after.

I was 17 years old with 2 medically fragile babies for 39 days…Mya died, but my oldest has survived defying the odds, she a brain hemorrhage, which cause hydrocephalus, seizure Disorder, cerebral palsy, but as my Momo calls her “A Miracle Child.” The doctors told me she would be a “vegetable” I was 16 years old when they used that medical terminology with me ” vegetable” needless to say she was wasn’t a stalk of broccoli…. She was a a few months delayed, but she proved them wrong, she walked, ran, ate on her own, not only graduated high school, but college, has a career, married and blessed me with 3 grandchildren. She broke the would be cycle of being a teen mom, learning from all of my mistakes, plus she has been like a best friend with our closeness in age.

I’m not sure how I would have faired out with two babies with medical disabilities…Would I have been neglectful, leaving my mom to care for them? Or who knows I could have done great balancing doctors appointments, pumping shunts and tube feedings. Being the woman I am, knowing and trusting God, I’ll continue to believe he did right with his choice. Looking on it I had a baby whom survived a whole year with tubes coming out of her head. I actually went into labor as they took my daughter down to place tubes in her brain to drain the infect spinal fluid, she developed a shunt infection… For some weeks, I had the hard task of visiting two babies in different hospitals across town, it was hard and I felt guilty.. I couldn’t give neither adequate attention, bonding time..

Yes, God knows best.💞

Happy Heavenly Birthday Mya👼🏾

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