Baby,  Memoir,  Pregnancy,  Women

Remembering my BabyGirl….

Today in 1990 I gave birth to a BabyGirl at Charity Hospital in New Orleans, whom I named Mya Antoinette. She was 1lb 14oz and she would fight for 39 days of her life, dying the day before my 1st daughter’s bday on Sept 19th. During her short life she defied the odds by being the 1st smallest premie to breathe on her own, which allowed me to hold her without tubes. She died bcuz her small under developed body wasn’t ready for formula & she developed intestinal failure.

I have gone through life finding comfort in being Auntie Dee to other babies, was blessed with Niyah 20 years later, but I still have a hole in my heart for my babygirl. I carry a guilt for being a fast teen as well. I had my first daughter at 16, she was a premie as well with major health issues, but I managed to get pregnant months after.

I was 17 years old with 2 medically fragile babies for 39 days…Mya died, but my oldest has survived defying the odds, she a brain hemorrhage, which cause hydrocephalus, seizure Disorder, cerebral palsy, but as my Momo calls her “A Miracle Child.” The doctors told me she would be a “vegetable” I was 16 years old when they used that medical terminology with me ” vegetable” needless to say she was wasn’t a stalk of broccoli…. She was a a few months delayed, but she proved them wrong, she walked, ran, ate on her own, not only graduated high school, but college, has a career, married and blessed me with 3 grandchildren. She broke the would be cycle of being a teen mom, learning from all of my mistakes, plus she has been like a best friend with our closeness in age.

I’m not sure how I would have faired out with two babies with medical disabilities…Would I have been neglectful, leaving my mom to care for them? Or who knows I could have done great balancing doctors appointments, pumping shunts and tube feedings. Being the woman I am, knowing and trusting God, I’ll continue to believe he did right with his choice. Looking on it I had a baby whom survived a whole year with tubes coming out of her head. I actually went into labor as they took my daughter down to place tubes in her brain to drain the infect spinal fluid, she developed a shunt infection… For some weeks, I had the hard task of visiting two babies in different hospitals across town, it was hard and I felt guilty.. I couldn’t give neither adequate attention, bonding time..

Yes, God knows best.đź’ž

Happy Heavenly Birthday Mya👼🏾

Native of New Orleans, who endured 20yrs cruel Minnesota Cold, I decided at 42yrs old it was time to pack up my then 6yr old and come back to my roots. I am all things that would challenge the belief of growing up in New Orleans. I was a 16yr old teen mother of a preterm 2lb baby girl born with a disability. With the help of my mother who had her own struggles. We survived the obstacles laid before us. I'm the proud mother of three children with two failed adoptions, as well as a grandmother of three, two grandsons and a granddaughter. I survived two abusive marriages. I successfully ran a soulfood restaurant and catering company in Minnesota for 12 years. I started creating custom cakes after the murder of my beloved cousin Melvin Paul.  He survived Katrina only to go to Minneapolis six months later to be murdered over a parking spot dispute.  I put my all into my cake business over the years as House of Cakes was started right out of my house in honor of him. I thought by having the big house on the hill, a husband, having a family, foster/adoptive mother at that, being involved in all things that matter, plus having the funds to match would cure me in a sense; but most of it poisoned my heart and soul. I had a broken heart and I felt deep down the only way to repair it was to get back to my roots, my soul, my home,  myself, my New Orleans. I'm here and I'm loving it. Even being in the so called Blighted Area of New Orleans and not having all the financial and material security, I'm happy. I am determined that She, yes New Orleans is a woman is just like me; together we will overcome and will rise from all that tried to kill our spirit. Nothing like starting from the bottom and making your way back up! I'm down in the boot, but I know I have a nice floppy hat awaiting my destiny...

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