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Hammond Love

2017-07-15-21-22-09-676I never wld hv thought I wld be laying in bed on rainy afternoon listening to the not so soft breathing of a man and a good solid black man at that. Today is his off day and my last day of playing house for the past week. It went by so fast and has been just about perfect. To think about it we only had one lil hiccup and he actually sat down to ask me why I was mad, I don’t even remember why I wanted to get mad, but I felt like I had too.

Its something how one can be accustomed to having  dysfunctional relationships and trying to make it work??? Even being in the South having a nice selection of men from my choosing I still found myself looking at my date out the side of my eye and knowing he not the one, not even  the one to give the goods to but hey Im a grown woman & in Minnesota a night out was far & inbetween, so hey…but then Im regretful cuz I truly dont like the man, but put up with him out of loneliness or boredom. With Kelvin, its relaxing, chill, passionate and fun. He lets me be, but he pushes my mind to think about Me and the Whys of my life. Actually he reminds me of my sister, Sweet, generous, but

 

compassionate, kinda a loner  and damn near rude when they witness a wrong being done.

I always thought I wld end up with a tradional hardworking Nola Man, ya know like the ones who reflect all things New Orleans, the knowledge of survival, soulful, passionate, giving and fills you with a feeling of love that will make you drunk with no hangover in the morning and if you do hv one there’s hot thick buttery grits, over easy eggs and hot sausage patties, even though Kelvin is not from “New Orleans” he some kinda way being all that.

An hour away is not that bad, but the distance between here and Minnesota hopfully won’t hv a negative impact on the growth of what we hv going on…. Im going to MN for a few wels while my son finally leaves to go live oncampus at college & vont his basketball career!! Thats another blog which I’ll write bout, but for now Im gonna miss him, he gave me in a week what I hv been longing for since I was boy crazy.

A native of New Orleans, who left her beloved New Orleans to spend twenty years of living in the land of Minnesota Not So Nice. Minnesota was full of opportunities but would learn that the soul of the state and the people who made it was just as icy cold as the temperatures. After the years and my 40th birthday flew by, I decided it was time to pack up my youngest child and come back to my roots, my birthplace the city that not only birthed me but gave me life. I would not be who I am without my New Orleans beginnings. I am all things that would challenge the belief of growing up in New Orleans. I was a 16yr old teen mother of a premature baby born with a severe medical disability. And only With the help of my mother, was it possible for me to BE! I was able to endure and survive the obstacles laid before my child and me. In a city that was built by my family, but did not allow for us to reap the benefits I overcame. Charity Hospital was my second home — a building filled with miracle workers who made it possible for my daughter to have life. I have lived a life of rainy days with peeks of sunshine, that are my children, including those not of my womb. I'm the proud mother of three and a grandmother of three. My dream was to live the life of the nursery rhyme of ”The Old Lady Who lived in a shoe,” and for the most part, I did. I cared for several children over the years as a special needs foster parent. I would learn that my love was not enough for some children, but I loved them through their pain. I'm not sure if I ever had a case of true love or came close to what love looks like on television, but I had my share of men and the mirage of love. I survived two abusive marriages. Though I longed to return to New Orleans on a daily bases, I must admit my move was one of the best decisions made for me. I am a college graduate; I was a successful entrepreneur. I coowned a soul food restaurant and catering company in Minnesota for 12 years. I developed the talent of creating custom cakes after the murder of my beloved cousin Melvin Paul. He survived Katrina only to go to Minneapolis six months later to be murdered over a parking spot dispute. But with the challenge of creating a simple wedding cake, I was able to find healing. I created the House of Cakes in honor of him. Minnesota life had me pretty materialistic. I worked to the point I do not remember much, but work and handing my children love money. I thought by having the big house on the hill, a husband, having a family, the ultimate provider and being involved in all things that matter, plus having the funds to match would cure me of what I was told was a generational curse of lack of everything from money, love to even self-love. But for the most part, that life poisoned my heart and soul. I was blinded by visions fed to me by the media. I was told I wasn't anything unless I was better than the Jones's. I lived being ok with a broken, bleeding heart. Life like this did not exist in my family while living in New Orleans from what I viewed with my eyes and soul. We may not have had all the things I acquired over the years, but we were happy, we were together. Family outside of New Orleans wasn't family anymore. We lived separate lives and had awkward moments when we bumped into each other in public. I hated living in Minnesota even though life their helped me in so many ways. I felt deep down the only way to repair it was to get back to my roots, my soul, my home, myself, my New Orleans. I'm here, and I love it. Even being in the so-called Blighted Area of New Orleans and not having all the financial and material security, I'm happy. I am determined that She, yes, New Orleans is a woman is just like me; together, we will overcome and will rise from all that tried to kill our spirit. Nothing like starting from the bottom and making your way back up!. I just know in my heart that New Orleans will provide for me. There's a bank account with funds in it owed to me by way of back pay for my ancestors. And I will receive my inheritance, and I will continue the traditions and customs of the old to keep the heartbeat of New Orleans beating. I'm down in the boot, living the life that feels right to me awaiting my destiny...

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